And Baby Would Make Four…

I decided to share this here because, well, I do consider having a home & family to be one of the “prettier” things in life. I also feel that it needs to be put together in one place so that I don’t even up answering the same 20 questions again and again in the TTC group that I joined this week.

I have a beautiful and charismatic 5 year old daughter from my previous marriage. We weren’t trying for her; I was on the pill, as a matter of fact, but the best laid plans… 

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In April of 2012, I met Hubby. It’s something that I don’t feel like I can articulate unless the person whom I’m speaking to as traveled a similar road, but I’ll try: We each took our own novice-bike-rider-on-the-expert-mountain-biking-trail-style wild ride to the other. After a few too many times of eating $%^& in the past, we were both unsure of how to do that whole happily-ever-after thing. It took us 6 months to a year of stumbling through it all to figure it out, but I’m glad that we did and I firmly believe that we were meant to be together.

December 2013 started our lives on a new path. It was one of those “blessing in disguise” things; I’ll skip the details, but I will say that this made me both want to laugh and cry at the memory of that time period when I saw it the other day…


In January, I cycled off of my birth control pills for a week of “fun” and that was followed up with a week of antibiotics for Strep throat. (I know; ya’ll are jelly… I got TWO weeks of fun!) We weren’t careful and decided to make the end of that second week a little too fun…

In February, I felt ‘off’ and cycled back off the pill after three weeks instead of the previous three-month interval. No Aunt Flo… I took a pregnancy test, just to make sure while feeling certain that it would be negative… It wasn’t. I took another in the morning. Another positive. 

We were both excited. Life was still throwing us curve balls at that point, but it felt like something good coming in the midst of all the crap life had thrown us.

In early April, I miscarried. The following two months were a struggle, to say the least, on so many levels. Everything seemed to going wrong. I don’t have words (a rarity for me), so I’ll just leave that alone…

In June, we received our first good news in what felt like forever at that point; Hubby received a long-awaited job offer and we were going to be able to move!! (We’re both Florida natives that don’t dig the heat.) Mid-June, we moved to our new home in central Illinois, where we’ve been happily making our “nest” ever since. 

On July 4th, we got married! It felt right. I was secretly worried about the timing. In the end though…it felt right. Perfect, even. It’s a silly, sappy song, but, ‘I got all I’ve waited for & I could not ask for more.’ when it comes to Hubby and being married to him.

We had been planning to try to conceive again, but my body really just wasn’t having it before this month. Of course, in the long run, I’m glad that my body took its time and did what it needed to. However…patience…it’s a virtue…sometimes I have it and sometimes it eludes me… (I think it checks out on most of us when it comes to trying for babies though…no? Is it just me?) So this week (7/20-7/25) has been our first real attempt since. 

I’m…apprehensive. I doubt our first try does it. Though I hope. I hope! And…I’m terrified. Of not being able to get pregnant again. Of going through another miscarriage. Of even telling Hubby’s family or my friends again when (-not “if”! *shiny, happy, forced positive smiley face*) we do conceive…like it’s going to jinx something and cause us to miscarry. (And then I feel insane for feeling that way. …and giggle at the mental image of DH calling his mom to tell her, “We had a baby! What…? No…we knew…she just wouldn’t let me tell anyone so that it wouldn’t jinx it! Baby’s 24 hours old now, so she says I can scream it from the roof tops!”) 

That’s us. And now I’m going back to bed* to cuddle my stomach up against him like that’s some how going to help our odds… 🙂


*I’ve noticed a trend lately: I feel stressed about one thing or another and then I feel stressed about being stressed. (Stress isn’t conducive to babies, dang it!) And then I can’t sleep. And then I’m even more stressed because, well, you need sleep to make babies too, right? *sigh*


Buy This, Not That…

Eyelashes & Primers.

I woke up sick this morning, so I decided to clear out the things that I’ve been meaning to toss and feel a little bit productive without actually doing much…


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Left: Revlon Beyond Natural Flirty, Right: Cheapies from Amazon.


The Revlon lashes can be found at WalMart in the four pack shown for under $10.
The “cheapies” were about $7 for 10 pairs after shipping costs.
Esqido (which I haven’t tried, but which are supposed to be god’s gift to lashes are $34 for one pair.

Revlon lashes are good for about 4 wears, depending on how careful you are with them. That breaks down to about 63-cents a day/wear.

You’re probably not going to get more than one wearing out of the cheapies; the bands are really thin, so that’s 70-cents a day.

Esqido makes the claim that you can wear theirs up to 25 times; making their cheapest set at $34 break down to $1.36 a day.


The Revlon ones look pretty natural. I wore them for getting married. My husband can tell that they’re falsies, but he looks at me every day and he still says that they look good.

Cheapies lie flat in the packaging and that’s hard to over come. I wrapped them around my index finger, holding them in place with my middle finger and thumb as long as possible and…they still were pretty flat. I always ended up with the inner corner of the lashes poking up out of my eyeliner, no matter how much bending, gluing and re-lining I did. Aaaand they look really plastic-y.

Esqido…see here: Tati uses them in a lot of her looks lately and they always look great. I’m still trying to justify the cost…and want to look more into their treatment of the minks.

This is all why the cheapies are going in the trash, the Revlon ones will stay close to my heart and the Esqidos are going on my wishlist.


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Left: L’Oreal Magic Perfecting Base, Right: Garnier 5 Second Blur, Smashbox Photo Finish primer, Cargo blu_ray High Definition Mattifier.

I love L’Oreal for a lot of things, but…anything on the right is better than their “Magic Perfecting Base.” I think they should have put it in a tube and it would have worked better and kept better than it has. Notice all the products on the right come in tubes. It minimizes the surface area so it doesn’t dry out, which the L’Oreal has; its all clumpy and it just feels like I’m rubbing silicone on my face. The others make my skin feel silky and wonderful; not so much with the L’oreal. And I really don’t like having to put my finger in the pot to get the Magic Perfecting Base out of the pot. It goes under my fingernail its just…gross.

Cargo is $28 on Amazon.
Smashbox is $42 on Amazon; though for a much larger package than what I have pictured. (Mine is a free sample promotion they mailed to me last year.)
Garnier 5 Second Blur is around $20 and available everywhere.
L’Oreal Magic Perfecting Base is as low as $10 as an add-on through Amazon, but usually around $20 in stores.

Cargo wins it for me. Its worth the extra $8 over drug store (I had bought mine at Ulta last year, but I guess they’ve done away with Cargo products since then. I did notice that its now available at Khol’s. Though Khol’s cash may not work on it, you do still earn Khol’s cash on your purchases of the premium makeup brands. Yay!) and it works as good as Smashbox. When I use up my samples and my current tube of Cargo, I’ll be going back to re-buy Cargo.

Zoya Sale & Patriotic Manicures…

First the important stuff… Zoya is having a 3/$12 (shipping & handling) sale again! [Link] They did this at the beginning of the year, but that sale did exclude their most recent at-that-time collection (the Naturals). This one doesn’t appear to have any restrictions and some of their summer colors make me swoon! I plan on shamelessly begging my hubby tonight! LOL

Zoya's Pepper, Jacqueline, & Sailor.
Zoya’s Pepper, Jacqueline, & Sailor.

This week I’ve done a few patriotic manicures in honor of Independence Day (which I will, ironically, not have red, white and blue nails for).

Tamsen, White on White, Pacific Blue
Zoya’s Tamsen, OPI’s White on White, Sally Hansen’s Pacific Blue [old formula] with Sally Hansen’s Red White and Hue.

(Side note: I’m not liking WordPress’ new editing screen, particularly for uploading photos. Is this a new thing for everyone or are they picking on me because I’m no longer a paid member for the time being?!)

Happy Fourth!

Best wishes for everyone to have a safe & happy fourth! I know I will! (Big, super-secret plans! ;-))