Flashback Friday: One Year Ago.

sleepingonmommasarm

Little Girl Sage Rage fell asleep on my arm.

She’s never been a great sleeper. There’s something in her nature that’s fearful. She never ‘just wakes up,’ but wakes up upset and crying if she wakes up alone. It’s only been very, very recently that she’s fallen asleep a few times without being thisclose to one of us. Bath times still don’t really happen and they never happen with her in the bath by herself.

At this point last year, she had only really begun her teething journey in earnest and she got the short end of the stick with me; my only real experience being with oldest daughter and she didn’t care about teething. Sure, she could be irritable at times, but nothing like my baby girl! We did not have evenings filled with hours of screaming and trying to put everything in the world in her tiny maw with my oldest. So, I feel like I’m at a disadvantage and that none of the “tried and true” teething advice we’ve received has helped this particular tiny little human.

This year isn’t much different. Her incisors are coming in and, true to form with the rest of her teeth, they’re all coming at the same time. It’s making for one very unhappy little babe once more this December.

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Transparency Tuesday: Scared.

I went to my rheumatology appointment yesterday. She didn’t just poo-poo my concerns as depression or aging. She did, however, start throwing out scary words like Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis, though. Lupus can attack your organs; lungs, heart, etc.. RA raises your risk by double of heart disease because of the proteins it produces and the medications that are used to manage it. Lymes still seems the most likely and the best fit for my symptoms, to me at least, but the fact that it’s gone on so long without being caught by anyone else scares me too; at some point, some of the effects can become permanent.

I should have test results back the first week of January. However, that’s scary too. What if they don’t find anything? What if it’s not showing up on blood tests? Do we just start throwing antibiotics and steroids at my body in May, when I’m no longer harboring a tiny human? Do they just give up?

I know it’s all a waste to worry before I have results back. I know it’s silly to be like, “Nope! I don’t want to know! Changed my mind!” I just…didn’t realize how unprepared I was for this next step.

 

Bullet Journaling in 2017

bulletjournalSomewhere along the line, I was introduced to bullet journal’ing. My brain feels slightly less functional than mashed potatoes, so if you’d like a better overview of the concept (or someone so artistic you can hate them and not feel about it) then, here. Or there’s always the original creator’s page on it, here.

I’ve tried it before and fallen off the wagon. I’ve learned something about myself: I’m not a ‘day planner’ sort of person. I cannot remember to check to see what I’m “supposed to be doing,” regularly enough. For things like appointments, alarms in my phone work much better for me.

However, to quote the author of pageflutter, “The freedom to create collections is one of the advantages that attracts people to Bullet Journaling to begin with.” I end up with 100 lists on loose leaf notebook paper and then…I lose them. The desk looks like a hoarder lives here and I can never find them when I need them. I forget things…but not totally; like, I still remember that there was something that I wanted to remember for later but…what was…? Nope. GONE.

So, I’m taking another stab at it next year and I’m starting to organize it (and decorate it) with the last few days of this year. It’s probably as close to a ‘resolution’ as I’m going to come. Haha

Flashback Friday

quiet

You hopped a partially downed barbed wire fence, cross a dirt utility trail, and climbed a small hill of displaced dirt and…bam. Quiet in the middle of Orlando, Florida. You could sit there as long as you wanted (or until you couldn’t stand the mosquitos anymore) and just forget everything.

I don’t know what that’s like anymore. There’s never any real ‘quiet’ anymore. It’s always the running to-do list in my head. And what’s the baby into? Did she just wake up? What did the dog chew up now? Was that a cat jumping up on the counter? What could they possibly be into this time? If I think I have a moment, Megan tends to pop up and what to ask about things that she (9 times out of 10) doesn’t have to ask about. (She’s not really concerned about X, Y, or Z; she’s just looking for the attention. Constantly. It’s always like that since The Big Ugly Thing happened.)

I want to find some quiet again. I’m not totally sure how… In Illinois, we were close to a really large park and there was an isolated corner where you could lay down under a tree in the grass and accomplish the same thing. But Virginia was too crowded. There was never a quiet corner. Here is more of the same…people on top of people…even lurking in the ‘isolated’ corners. *sigh* Who wants to come build me a tree house? With a heater in it? And a book nook??

A Slightly Belated Transparency Tuesday…

ttcomplete

Two screen shots from my conversation with my husband the other night. It sums up my never ending struggle with the housework. I cleaned both rounds up and it took less than 5 minutes total…but that’s not counting having to stop whatever I was trying to get done to do it and then try to find my way back on track. It’s exhausting.

Today I planned to spot clean a few spots with the carpet cleaner; the dog is a jerk. (Though, to be fair, if I were 20″ tall and had to go outside naked and barefoot in the snow…I’d probably refuse and opt to pee inside too.) Then Sage dumped her cup on the ottoman that I just cleaned yesterday while I was trying to figure out tires for the car. I get that cleaned up and hit the pee spots and…she’s stolen our toilet paper and shredded bits across the house. Now might be a good time to point out the obnoxious level of toys both of the girls have… Ugh.

My “Working on it Wednesday” is pretty lackluster so far… I’m still working on organizing and doing maintenance on things (I suppose today’s arrangement of a tire appointment counts…), but I’m at a bit of a stand still while I’m waiting for some things to arrive from Amazon and for Christmas to pass so that I can use my closet once more. I did get in some bins and labels the other day, but haven’t done a lot with them yet. Mostly, I’m just not quite sure where to put them at the moment. I have some things that still need to be sorted through and many, many projects that need to be worked on/finished. I think I’m going to start working on some of those projects at night, after Sage is in bed. Otherwise, it’s never going to get done. Oh, I did get little Sylis’ things sorted and put away in the closet the other night. He’s still something like -22 weeks, but he’s already amassing “stuff.” Haha

Well, I have a few plants to repot and then I’m going to see if I can find an extension cord; if I can, I’m putting up some outside lights on the porch. If not, then I’m calling it good for this year and moving on from Christmas decorating with only 11 days to go anyway…time to get on that!

Flashback Friday!

My husband was home yesterday. He went to the doctor’s office for a strained lower back. sagerbreadNothing too serious, just…a pain. Literally. I didn’t get much done, but I did make the gingerbread house kits that we had with the girls…

megabread The lesson learned was that next year, we buy the pre-built houses and just cut straight to the fun! I’m honestly surprised that they’re still standing ~18 hours later! Haha

Tonight I need to get pictures of the girls for our Christmas cards and my order from JoAnn of some more organizing things came in today, so I need to put all of that together!

But first…

 

 

mariothreeyearsago

My husband’s cat, Mario. (He had a mustache!) Circa Sept. 2013.

The funny thing about this photo for me is not how impossibly tiny Mario was, but that that photo of my dog as my background on my computer takes me back to that time period. That house. Living with Hubby before he was hubby.

I’m 110% sure that it’s just sugar-coated hindsight, but it seems like it was simpler time for us. We didn’t have babies together, besides the cats. We still had time to ourselves to go on ‘dates’. We didn’t have so much clutter. We were both in school, so our nights were ours to binge on Doctor Who episodes. It was also still fairly early on in my pain-and-weight-gain days, so I felt like there was some hope that I would just magically “get better” or that maybe it was all just depression and could be helped with a tablespoon of ‘get my sh*t together.’ *sigh* It was before our lives changed forever. Before we left Florida. Before the depression really, really set in and felt like it became a way of life.

monday

That all said… This is Mario from a few weeks ago. The look on his face sums up the sort of day it was well, hence why this picture was snapped. But given the hindsight…it feels extra appropriate.

Of course, now I’m left to wonder how accurate my feelings are or if it’s all just homesickness for another time rolling those memories in sugar. Does it matter if you can’t go back to it? Wouldn’t really want to anyway? (I’d miss the babies. And I do not miss Florida.)

Working on it Wednesdays…

Cleaning & Organizing Edition.

I think Liz and I have the same tactic for getting back on the writing train; themed days. Haha Check out her Woman Crush Wednesday here! While I could gush about Jenna Coleman (the actress that plays Clara on Doctor Who) and style blogger Keiko Lynn endlessly, I thought maybe my Wednesdays could be spent keeping myself accountable for all of the ongoing projects I have going on!

The last month or so, I’ve been working on deep cleaning, decluttering and trying to better organize things around our house.

sagehelping The other day, little Sage helped me to change the air filters in the vacuum, as well as thoroughly wiping it down and getting hair out of the rollers. It works infinitely better now!

I’ve also been working on decluttering my makeup collection and finding new ways to organize what I’m keeping. To which there are some limitations with a toddler that likes to climb in the house…whose favorite thing to get into seems to be makeup, especially those things with caps that twist or pull off. (We were just in Meijer and they have the new L’oreal Infallible Lip Paints… I know…I know…paring down…decluttering…but…wild colors! At the drug store! In awesome formulas!! Anyway…in two seconds flat she had the cap off of Navy Spy and was wiping her little blue baby fingers all over my sweater! Luckily, it was a black sweater at least.)

Anyway, via the magic of Pinterest, I decided to get some bead organizers from JoAnn today to use for my individual ColourPop and NYX shadow pots…

eyeshadows I need a third. Those four empty slots are for the pending order that I put in a few days ago, so none of my NYX colors or gel creme eyeliner pots have a home just yet… *hangs head in shame* (I swear I’m going on a staunch no-buy in 2017. I am!) So, for less than $3 each after coupons, I can now easily see what I have and not have to chase them all around the inside of my vanity-desk drawer! AND it freed up a ton of space in my wall-mounted organizers for more stuff!

I still need to round up ALL of my lip products and declutter. I think some of my ColourPop liquids have gone bad; they smell very…chemical-ly while the newer ones I’ve gotten don’t. Poo, but it will make choosing a color easier…hopefully. Ha.

Our kitchen is my next big step. I’m going to seriously need to summon my bravery for it. We have a fair amount of cabinet space in this house, but it isn’t the most functional layout and…sippy cups. Those things are the biggest organizational pain the butt. Even Pinterest seems to have limited suggestions for what to do with them.

I feel good about the start that I’m off and now…time to go start dinner! My lovely Grandmother and Grandfather in-law sent us the annual roast that they send us every Christmas and I’m making these glorious mushrooms that we tried and loved on Thanksgiving!

Happy Wednesday!!