Flashback Friday!

My husband was home yesterday. He went to the doctor’s office for a strained lower back. sagerbreadNothing too serious, just…a pain. Literally. I didn’t get much done, but I did make the gingerbread house kits that we had with the girls…

megabread The lesson learned was that next year, we buy the pre-built houses and just cut straight to the fun! I’m honestly surprised that they’re still standing ~18 hours later! Haha

Tonight I need to get pictures of the girls for our Christmas cards and my order from JoAnn of some more organizing things came in today, so I need to put all of that together!

But first…

 

 

mariothreeyearsago

My husband’s cat, Mario. (He had a mustache!) Circa Sept. 2013.

The funny thing about this photo for me is not how impossibly tiny Mario was, but that that photo of my dog as my background on my computer takes me back to that time period. That house. Living with Hubby before he was hubby.

I’m 110% sure that it’s just sugar-coated hindsight, but it seems like it was simpler time for us. We didn’t have babies together, besides the cats. We still had time to ourselves to go on ‘dates’. We didn’t have so much clutter. We were both in school, so our nights were ours to binge on Doctor Who episodes. It was also still fairly early on in my pain-and-weight-gain days, so I felt like there was some hope that I would just magically “get better” or that maybe it was all just depression and could be helped with a tablespoon of ‘get my sh*t together.’ *sigh* It was before our lives changed forever. Before we left Florida. Before the depression really, really set in and felt like it became a way of life.

monday

That all said… This is Mario from a few weeks ago. The look on his face sums up the sort of day it was well, hence why this picture was snapped. But given the hindsight…it feels extra appropriate.

Of course, now I’m left to wonder how accurate my feelings are or if it’s all just homesickness for another time rolling those memories in sugar. Does it matter if you can’t go back to it? Wouldn’t really want to anyway? (I’d miss the babies. And I do not miss Florida.)

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One thought on “Flashback Friday!

  1. My sister discovered the pre-built kits this year, and she said they were a life saver with the younger kids, she’d have lost her damn mind if they tried building them. I hope Sean figures out what’s bothering him. As a chronic lower back pain sufferer, I feel his pain (literally).

    Kitty! Looking back at pictures of Harley and Snickers makes me sad, and since I’m crying at the drop of a hat these days (yay hormones!), I’m keeping that folder firmly closed for the time being. My grandma sent me an email yesterday telling me she had to put her dog down, and Joe walked out from the bedroom to find me crying my eyes out. Like irrational, ugly sobbing. He legit thought someone had died, and when I managed to tell him it was my grandma’s dog he just sat there and held me until I stopped crying, then promptly laughed at me once he knew I realized how insane it was to cry over a dog that was 13 years old.

    Joe and I have been together for 7 1/2 years, and while the first couple of years were difficult, I find myself wanting to go back there all the time. It was so much easier compared to now. We didn’t have two miscarriages to contend with. My grandpa was still alive, and a certain person wasn’t even involved in our lives. I have to keep reminding myself that life moves on, and I can either stay locked in the past or move forward. Depression and anxiety make it difficult to want to move forward because it’s unknown. I don’t know what the next days and weeks have in store for me, and that terrifies me more than anything I’ve ever faced before. But it’s not like I have a choice in the matter. So I have to choose every morning to get out of bed and face the day, even when it’s difficult. You know I’m always here if you need to talk, okay?

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