Last week, we went in on Valentine’s Day morning to do the 3-hour blood glucose test and then went back this past Monday to do an ultrasound to check fluid levels and baby size. All of it came back within normal ranges, save my iron levels; which were at a “10.9” and they want it to be 11+. So, I started on another supplement and that’s that.
It’s good news but…frustrating. With my last pregnancy, beginning around 5 or 6 months, I started having extreme dizzy spells. They would hit me out of nowhere, last for 20 minutes to an hour or a bit more, and then vanish as quickly as they came on and with seemingly no cause. This pregnancy is repeating that pattern again and they can’t tell me why. “Well, it’s really hard to know what that might be…” and the OB moved on.
I want to throw something. That doesn’t help me get through the next three months. That doesn’t help me when I can’t really drive anywhere or, if I have to, I’m afraid to get out of the car and walk around – last time, I nearly ended up stranded several times. I’d have the car and my husband would be at home, I would get dizzy and have to sit down (at least once in the middle of a grocery aisle in Target), and it would be a while before I could get up again and successfully make it to the car…then a bit longer before I felt okay enough sitting there to leave. It happens regularly enough that it’s a legit fear.
I’m also left to wonder, if we knew what was causing this, would it help diagnose what’s going on with my body in the bigger picture? Maybe it’s not related at all, but it still feels…sucky that nobody really seems to care enough to even consider the possibility of looking into it further. *sigh* I should probably just be happy that our little boy is healthy and thriving…and I am. (He’s on the track to be roughly the same size that Baby Girl was at birth; 8 pounds, 10 ounces. He also moved into the head-down position that he needs to be in during these last few months. Yay!) I just…wish I had some better answers from my doctors.
I’ve been spending some of my focus lately on self-care. I bought the Olay Pro-X brush and really like it so far. I’ve been using it at night, along with a new overnight moisturizer (that smells like wine…mmm…) before bed. I’ve been trying not to miss taking my vitamins or brushing my teeth before bed; one of the bad habits I’ve developed in the last year or two. I just get so tired at the end of the day that it’s too tempting to just crawl into bed and call it a night. But if I’m already at the sink to wash my face…I may as well brush my teeth while I’m there! And Baby Girl has taken an interest in brushing hers too!
I’ve been trying to take bubble baths and keep my nails painted and fall back into the routine of applying lotion too.
The hope has been that maybe it would help me to shake some of the “funk” that has been hanging around this past month or so. So far? It hasn’t. I’m going to stick with it and add to it slowly but surely. I think my next step is going to be to figure out how to reinstate some of my makeup routine. I miss it, but it’s too hard to do in the office, where I have my makeup stored and a vanity set up, because…toddler. She can be totally engrossed in playing with something else, but let me sit down and try to put on makeup and she’s climbing all. over. me. -_- I’m thinking about putting together the basics and putting them into a tray or something that I can take to the bathroom with me and stand at the counter while doing my makeup. Of course, that doesn’t help much if I’m feeling like death, but…maybe…at that point…I just call it a day and forego the makeup anyhow? We’ll see how it goes…but I am working on it! 😉
I’m not quite sure how else to sum up the last two weeks and a few days, so…there’s that.
I did finish one project: labeling the bins in Sage’s room with photos so that maaaaybe she can start helping to pick up her things. I didn’t imagine that it would take so long, but taking photos, having them printed (I used WalMart so uploading them was another step), laminating them so that they wouldn’t be ripped off and thrown on the floor in 2 seconds flat, finding the hole punch, getting out the zip ties, breaking a pair of scissors…it was a process! (There’s a fourth bin off to the left too with misc. toys.)
Aside from that…the last few weeks have just been a bunch of pushing through. My body hurts and I feel drained of all energy. A YouTuber [link] that I follow recently shared her story of her struggle with EDS and the depression that came with it, along with a beautiful analogy about “building a ladder.” It’s really good in a lot of respects and how I used to do a lot of things. But over the years it’s gotten harder and harder to get out and do the things I want to in the first place and then recovery takes two or three times as long as it used to. I’m hoping that a lot of this is just worse because of pregnancy and winter hitting me for a “double-whammy,” right now, but I won’t really know that until into the summer, which seems such a long, long time away right now. I’m trying not to get sucked down, but I feel the quicksand at my ankles.
Today has been a long day of running hubby to work and my oldest daughter to her doctor’s appointment for an overdramatized rash (it’s Eczema; run of the mill dry skin…and there’s no way that her classmate “caught it from her” as she claimed. *eye roll*), subsequent tantrum in the drug store, and just feeling extra icky all after with a toddler that’s trying to cut in her last four teeth/incisors. 😦 And now it’s time to make dinner… Frozen pizzas? Yes, please.